


Hawkeye Who?

by MotherOfBeardedDragons



Series: Clint Barton Bingo 2019 [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Clint becomes obsessed with Doctor Who, Doctor Who References, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Hawkeye bingo, That's it that's the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 19:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18723049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherOfBeardedDragons/pseuds/MotherOfBeardedDragons
Summary: After breaking his leg Clint is bored out of his mind having to sit around for four weeks. Trying to keep him entertained, Bruce introduces Clint to Doctor Who. No one expects the utter obsession that follows.or 5 Times the Team Worried about Clint's Doctor Who Obsession, and 1 Time It Saved Them.





	Hawkeye Who?

**Author's Note:**

> For the square "Time Travel" on my Clint Barton Bingo card. 
> 
> You don't necessarily have to have watched Doctor Who to read this, but there are a ton of Doctor Who references throughout.

**1\. Getting Hooked**

   Once again Clint found himself in the medical area of the tower. Unfortunately, this time, it wasn’t something he could simply walk off. He had managed to break his leg in two places, and while it wasn’t a severe break he wouldn’t be able to put weight on it for a while. The doctor said that it normally took 6-8 weeks for a simple fracture to heal, but with the advanced medical technology they had it would only be about 4 weeks. That still sounded like an eternity to Clint. 

   They didn’t even put him in a walking cast, probably because they knew he’d make a run for it if he could walk at all, so he was stuck with an old-ass plaster cast. At least they let him pick purple for the color. 

   Several days after getting the cast on, Clint found himself restless. The first few days hadn’t been bad because he hadn’t felt like doing anything and had been on painkillers, so he had spent a lot of time sleeping. 

   But now he was feeling better and he couldn’t walk or do anything. It was agonizing. And he had to use a stupid knee scooter to get around too. It was better than crutches, but it still sucked.

   Clint found himself slowly wheeling around the tower, getting in everyone’s way as they went about their routines. Steve was trying to cook breakfast, and Clint kept knocking things over as he attempted to navigate the kitchen in his cast. 

   Natasha was training, and had given Clint a warning look when he showed up in the gym. She knew he might try to do something stupid and hurt his leg worse. 

   Clint seated himself in a chair with his bow to practice, since it was the only thing he could do. After about twenty minutes of sitting and shooting perfect bullseyes, he got bored and decided to do some trickshots. 

   After he ricocheted three arrows off the glass of a window, bounced them them off a punching bag and into the target, Natasha had had enough. She unceremoniously dumped him and his bow outside the gym. 

   He went in Tony’s lab and things went well until Clint started playing with wires and almost set one of the suits on fire. Tony sighed and passed him off on Thor, who was in the library. 

   Lately, Thor had been attempting to learn more about Midgard and governments since he was the new ruler of the Asgardian colony that had been established on Earth. 

   Clint attempted to read, but couldn’t focus. He normally liked to read, but he had so much pent up energy that his mind kept wandering. He gave up and decided to build a giant tower out of books. Unfortunately, he caught his knee scooter on the edge of the table and the entire tower collapsed. Onto Thor. 

   After Thor had helped him pick up all the books, he had politely suggested Clint see if Bruce needed any help since they all knew that Bruce was the most patient out of all of them. Having no other options Clint found himself wandering into Bruce’s lab. 

   “What’s going on? How’s your leg?,” Bruce greeted him, looking up from his book an taking off his glasses. 

   “Nothing. Nothing is going on,” Clint sighed, “Leg’s doing ok though.”

   “Ah, so that’s the problem. You’re feeling good enough to do things but you’re limited on what you can do,” Bruce said. 

   He knew Clint was always on the move and that it had to be killing him to stay still. 

   “Yeah, everyone else already kicked me out. I’ll try to be good,” Clint replied, poking at a set of chemicals.

   “I’ve got an idea,” Bruce said, gently pulling away the toxic chemicals, “why don’t we watch something on TV.”

   “You’re in the middle of working,” Clint said, gesturing to the books and diagrams Bruce had been studying. 

   “I could use a break,” Bruce said with a shrug. 

   “Ok then.”

   So the two of them found themselves in one of the living rooms of the tower. They all had access to streaming TV and movies and had their own accounts. Clint settled in on the couch as Bruce pulled up his profile. 

   “Really?,” Clint said, seeing Bruce’s most recently watched list. 

   “What, you have a problem with  _ Doctor Who _ ?,” Bruce replied. 

   “Never seen it,” Clint said with a shrug. 

   “Well if you’ve never seen it then you don’t have any room to talk.”

   “It’s a show about a flying box.”

   “It’s a little more nuanced than that,” Bruce replied, rolling his eyes. 

   “Natasha watches  _ Star Trek _ .”

   “Which series?”

   “All of them,” Clint said groaning. 

   “I’m guessing you’re not a big sci-fi fan?,” Bruce asked. 

   Clint shrugged. “I don’t have anything against it, I’ve just never sat down and watched a series.”

   “Well, you have plenty of time now. You want to give it a shot? I’d love to have someone to talk to about  _ Doctor Who _ .”

   “I’ll give it a try. It’s not like I’m doing anything else right now. But I can’t guarantee I’m gonna like it,” Clint warned. 

   “Trust me, I won’t be offended,” Bruce said, starting up the series. 

   He gave Clint a brief history of the show and its premise, then started the first episode. 

   “This is the reboot, it takes a few episodes to get going,” Bruce explained. 

   Well, Clint didn’t have anything better to do. Plus Bruce was chill enough that he could make fun of it and he wouldn’t get mad. So Clint joked about the special effects, time travel, the TARDIS, and the monsters. 

   But he found himself getting more and more drawn in, and before he realized it they were on the fifth episode. 

   “What the hell is that thing?,’ Clint asked. 

   “That’s a dalek,” Bruce replied, failing to hide his excitement. 

   “That’s kind of badass,” Clint admitted. 

   They finished the episode, and were chatting about daleks, when Bruce pointed out that it was time for dinner. 

   “Is it that late?,” Clint asked, surprised. 

   They had watched five hours of TV. Clint couldn’t remember the last time that he had been able to sit and binge something. Hell, the last thing he had expected to binge was  _ Doctor Who _ . But damn if it wasn’t interesting, it was the right amount of action, drama, humor, and weirdness. 

   They ate pizza as Bruce launched into a full history of Daleks. The two of them didn’t look up as Natasha and Tony entered the kitchen. 

   “Are you two fangirling about  _ Doctor Who _ ?,” Natasha asked with a smirk, as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. 

   “Shut up Trekkie,” Clint replied. 

   “Wait, so you’re trying to turn Barton into a Whovian?,” Tony asked Bruce. 

   “Well, you won’t watch it with me, so yes,” Bruce answered. 

   “I’ve told you, the science on that show makes no sense,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. 

   “It’s science  _ fiction _ !” 

   “Emphasis on the fiction. A time vortex is a physical impossibility.”

   “As long as it keeps Clint occupied,” Natasha said with a shrug. 

   “I’m right here you know!,” Clint stated. 

   After Tony and Natasha finally left them in peace, Clint and Bruce finished their discussion on daleks. They agreed to meet the next morning to continue watching season one. 

**2\. Accessories**

   One season quickly turned into the next and after a week they found themselves on season four. 

   “Clint, as much as I love these marathons, I’ve got to get some work done today,” Bruce apologized. 

   “It’s all good, I think I’ll just watch a few episodes,” Clint replied. 

   At the end of the day Bruce exited his lab, cutting through the living room and found Clint staring at the TV with a horrified expression as the credits rolled.

   “Let me guess, you just finished ‘The End of Time,’” Bruce said. 

   “Yep,” Clint replied, still looking distraught. 

   “Yeah, that’s a rough one.”

   “The Tenth Doctor’s the best, no one’ll ever be able to take his place.”

   “I said the same thing, but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the Eleventh Doctor,” Bruce replied, as Clint shook his head skeptically. 

   The following day, Bruce was called away on a mission, and when he returned a few days later he found Clint watching the seventh season and wearing a fez. 

   “Dude, you were right. The Eleventh Doctor is awesome!”

   Bruce smiled, sitting next to Clint on the couch. 

   “Told you. Nice fez.”

   “Fezzes are cool,” Clint said seriously, making Bruce laugh. 

   “I also got this,” Clint said, pulling out a colorful Fourth Doctor scarf. 

   “Classic.”

   “As soon as I make it through the new series, I’m going to watch as much classic Who as I can,” Clint stated. 

   “That’s a lot to watch, there’s over fifty years of  _ Doctor Who _ .”

   “I have three more weeks and nothing else to do,” Clint said shrugging.

   “Well, good luck with that.”

   “Oh! And did you see the t-shirt?,” Clint asked gesturing to his “Save the Daleks” shirt. “There’s a model TARDIS I’m thinking about ordering, and I also found a really cool sonic screwdriver kit.”

   “You’re going to have a pretty big collection at this rate.”

   “Nah, you should see all the  _ Star Trek _ crap Natasha has. Although if you saw her collection she’d have to kill you.”

   Bruce laughed, not entirely sure if Clint was joking. 

**3\. Fan Theories**

   “Dude, have you read the theory about the Doctor’s name and  _ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy _ ?”

   “No, I don’t think I’ve heard that one,” Bruce said, raising an eyebrow. Apparently Clint had been doing his research. 

   “Ok, so Douglas Adams wrote  _ Hitchhiker’s _ and he also wrote episodes of  classic  _ Doctor Who _ , right?”

   “Right…”

   “And in  _ Hitchhiker’s _ , ‘the meaning of life, the universe, and everything’ is 42,” Clint continued. “So the Doctor’s name translates to 42 in Gallifreyan!”

   “Well, that’s one theory,” Bruce conceded, still trying to take in the fact that Clint was rambling about sci-fi fan theories.

   Several days later Clint busted into Bruce’s lab, making Tony drop his drink. 

   “Aww, coffee no,” Clint said, sadly mourning Tony's fallen beverage. 

   “You know, startling Bruce probably isn’t the best career move,” Tony pointed out, trying to mop up the coffee with a nearby towel. 

   “I wouldn’t be in the tower if I couldn’t handle loud noises and sudden interruptions,” Bruce replied in amusement.  

   “So what’s going on? Did Natasha find out you broke her favorite knife?,” Tony asked, taking in the fact Clint was disheveled and out of breath. 

   “She will if you keep telling everyone about it,” Clint said, rolling his eyes. 

   “I was just wondering why you came running in here like a bat outta hell.”

   “Well, I just finished the episode where the Twelfth Doctor realizes why he chose the face of Caecilius, from ‘The Fires of Pompeii, and I read this theory…”

   “Woah, hold on a second,” Tony said, interrupting Clint’s rambling, “are you seriously hobbling down here to discuss urgent  _ Doctor Who _ fan theories?”

   “Yeah, I kinda thought that was obvious.”

   Tony sighed. “I’m seriously worried about your mental stability right now Barton.”

   “If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black,” Bruce muttered. 

   “Shut it Banner.”

   “Ok, so the theory is that the Doctor picks his faces, so his name changes with each face, so maybe the Doctor has more than one name.”

   Tony and Bruce stared at Clint for a minute. 

   “You know, that’s actually an interesting theory,” Bruce said. 

   “Right?!”

   “Ok, I’m outta here,” Tony sighed, heading towards the door. 

   He shook his head as he listened to Bruce and Clint excitedly exchange fan theories. Yep, Barton was definitely losing it. 

**4\. More Accessories**

   Clint was in Tony’s lab, once again begging him to build him a K-9. 

   “For the last time Barton, I’m not building you a robot dog. You have a slobbery, destructive, pizza-eating real dog running loose in my tower already.”

   “Come on man, how hard would it be for you to whip me up a quick robot?”

   The two looked up as the door crashed open. That could only be one person. 

   “Tony, I believe you left one of your tools in the gym,” Thor said.

   “You need to learn that doors are designed to be opened, not busted through like the Kool-Aid man,” Tony said, sighing. 

   “Maybe you just need to make stronger doors,” Clint said. 

   “Kool-Aid man?,” Thor asked confused. 

   “Oooh yeah!”

   “Alright, I’m done. Everybody out,” Tony directed, having finally reached his quotia of stupid for the day. 

   “I just came to return your tool,” Thor said, holding out a long silver object. 

   “I’ve been looking for that!,” Clint said, grabbing the sonic screwdriver. 

   “This is yours?,” Thor asked. 

   “Give me strength,” Tony sighed dramatically. 

   “Yeah, it’s the Eleventh Doctor’s sonic screwdriver!”

   “Ah, is this related to the television show you have become increasingly obsessed with?,” Thor asked. 

   “I’m not obsessed, just... passionate” Clint replied, polishing the sonic screwdriver off on his “Don’t Blink” t-shirt. 

   “Sure…” 

   “I’m just a fan,” Clint defended. 

   “Last week you asked me if Gallifrey was a real planet,” Thor reminded him. 

   “I just wanted to make sure! We didn’t think Asgard was a real planet until you showed up.”

   “Trying to work here,” Tony griped. 

   “You watched six seasons of  _ Game of Thrones _ in a week,” Clint said to Thor. 

   “I wanted to catch up to watch the premiere with everyone.”

   “Well, maybe I want to catch up to watch the new season with Bruce, ever think of that?”

   “When I watched  _ Game of Thrones _ , I did not purchase a replica Iron Throne or learn the entire history of Westeros.” 

   “Valar Morghulis,” Clint said.

   “Valar Dohaeris,” Thor replied automatically. 

   “Ha! Nerd,” Clint said, smirking. 

   “That’s it. FRIDAY initiate ‘Pain in the Ass’ protocol,” Tony said, having had enough. 

   Dum-E immediately began chasing Clint and Thor with a fire extinguisher until they both ran out of the lab, still arguing about who was nerdier. 

   “I need new teammates,” Tony sighed, sitting down to try to finish his project only to be sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher moments later. 

**5\. Duolingo and Interventions**

   Steve addressed the assembled team in the room. 

   “Look, I know we all care about him, that’s why we’re here.”

   “I just feel like this is all my fault,” Bruce said, sighing. 

   “It  _ is _ all your fault,” Tony pointed out. 

   “It’s not your fault Bruce, you were just trying to help,” Steve said, kindly. 

   “I’m enabling him.”

   “Is this really necessary?,” Natasha asked, sighing. 

   “FRIDAY, pull up live video of agent Barton,” Tony directed. 

   Clint was in his room, an episode of Doctor Who on the TV. He had a stuffed Dalek sitting on the couch next to him, a TARDIS poster, and a Weeping Angel t-shirt on. He had a laptop open and was currently muttering in a foreign language, scribbling what looked like circles on a piece of paper. 

   “Ok, I get your point,” Natasha said after a moment. 

   “FRIDAY, send him down here,” Tony directed, closing the video. 

    A couple of minutes later Clint came into the room. 

   “FRIDAY said you needed me….oh wow,” Clint said in surprise. 

   When FRIDAY had asked him to come down he hadn’t expected everyone to be there. This looked almost like an intervention…

   “We’re all here because you’re worried about you,” Steve began. 

   “Worried about me?”

   “Clint, you need to admit you have a problem.”

   “I don’t have a problem,” Clint replied. 

   “You sure about that?,” Tony said, gesturing to piece of paper Clint was holding. 

   “Duolingo added Gallifreyan as a language option,” Clint said, shrugging. 

   “Seriously?,” Tony asked.

   “Yeah, they also have Klingon and High Valyrian.”

   “High Valyrian, really?,” Thor asked with interest. 

   Natasha subtly pulled out her phone and made a note to download Duolingo later. She was learning Klingon, creepy owl be damned. 

   “Look, we know you’re bored. You only have another week until you get out of the cast. Why don’t we set some limits,” Steve suggested, trying to get the intervention back on track. 

   “What kind of limits?”

   “Only three hours of Doctor Who per day.”

   “Four.”

   “Fine, and you can only buy one Doctor Who item per week. That includes shirts,” Steve added. 

   “I guess,” Clint sighed. 

   “We just want what’s best for you,” Steve said. 

   “I know.”

   “Great, are we done here? Can we have lunch?,” Tony asked, looking at his watch. 

   “That is an excellent idea. We should get pizza,” Thor suggested. 

   “Allons-y!,” Clint said as the group headed towards the door. 

   “That was a  _ Doctor Who _ reference wasn’t it?,” Steve asked Bruce. 

   “Yep.”

   Steve sighed. 

**+1: When A Good Man Goes to War**

   The mission had gone very wrong, and Steve was struggling to find a way to keep everyone safe. They were surrounded, and Steve didn’t know how exactly they were going to get out of this. They always tried to keep casualties to a minimum when possible, but the safety of his team was more important. 

   They had two large teams, one on each side, attacking them. Their choices were to keep moving forward through the fire, trying to fight through the ranks, or they could go back towards the plane.

   Steve knew they needed to retreat, as much as he hated to admit it. They just didn’t have enough of them to fight so many people on both sides. But Steve wasn’t even sure they would be able to outrun the two large teams surrounding them on each side. 

   It was frustrating because they all knew that the enemy they were fighting were a bunch of idiots. They were inexperienced and disorganized, but there were just too damn many of them. 

   “Alright, it looks like we’re going to have to run and fight our way out,” Steve said, “unless anyone has any other ideas.”

   “FRIDAY isn’t finding any alternate escape plans,” Tony admitted. 

   “It looks like Hulk approves of your plan,” Thor said, observing the Hulk getting pumped up to smash things. 

   “Ok, let’s stick together. Barton, can you give us cover?,” Steve asked. 

   “Where is he?,” Tony asked after a moment of silence. 

   “Up there,” Natasha pointed to a spot among the boulders. 

   “What the hell is he doing up there?,” Tony wondered. 

   “And why does he have a fez and a mop?,” Thor asked. 

   “Oh god,” Natasha and Steve sighed in unison. 

   “Barton, what are you doing?,” Steve asked warily. 

   “Clint you dumbass, this better not have anything to do with  _ Doctor Who _ ,” Natasha said. 

   “Hear me out, in the episode ‘The Day of the Doctor,’ which was the fiftieth anniversary special…”

   “Barton, we are not reenacting a plot from  _ Doctor Who _ ,” Tony sighed. 

   “You may not be, but I am,” Clint said swinging down and into the fray. 

   He used one of Tony’s digital shields to cover himself, and got the attention of the team on the left, drawing their fire. He then looped around and drew fire from the team on the right, slowly moving them forward, towards each other. 

   “I think I see what he’s doing,” Steve said after a moment. 

   Clint was angling himself to draw fire from both sides, slowly moving forward. At this rate both sides would be firing in each other’s direction when Clint moved further up. 

   “He’s gonna make them fire on each other,” Tony said, realizing Clint’s plan. 

   “That’s what it looks like,” Steve said, “overall not the worst plan.”

   “I believe our enemy is foolish enough for this to work,” Thor stated.

   “Let’s move,” Natasha replied with a nod. 

   The four of them scattered, drawing fire in different directions, but slowly moving together. 

   “I’m going to drop a smoke bomb and flash grenade to distract them and blur their vision,” Tony warned. 

   “That’s when we all move forward quickly. They’ll be firing on each other without realizing it,” Steve said nodding. 

   “We must make sure the Hulk knows what’s happening. The last thing we need is him smashing his way through the ranks and getting trapped,” Thor pointed out. 

   “It looks like he’s in on the plan,” Natasha observed in surprise. 

   Instead of running around smashing, the Hulk was standing next to them, calmly surveying the enemy and waiting to run at Tony’s signal. 

   The enemy had chosen their positions to have advantage over the Avengers, but hadn’t taken the time to look at the vulnerabilities of the way they were arranged. 

   The biggest vulnerability being that they were directly across from one another. Their enemy’s communication was terrible, and the Avengers were going to use that and their enemy’s inexperience to their advantage. 

   The team would just have to stay low and move quickly to avoid detection and get to the plane. If Clint’s plan worked, then the two enemy teams would blow each other apart, leaving them unable to pursue and Avengers. 

   The Avengers maneuvered and drew fire until the two enemy teams were closer together, angled toward each other, then Tony dropped the smoke bombs. The Avengers quickly pulled on their masks and moved low and fast toward the plane. 

   The enemy, in a panic, began firing at the shapes in the fog, forgetting that their own team was across from them. When the smoke began to clear, the two teams had all but obliterated one another and the Avengers were nowhere to be found.   

   On the plane Steve thanked Clint for his strategy, and Clint rambled on about the Time War. 

   “Ok, so the Daleks are firing on Gallifrey, and in the original timeline the Doctor destroyed both the Daleks and the Time Lords by blowing up Gallifrey with a weapon called the Moment, ending the war. But in ‘The Day of the Doctor’ the Tenth, Eleventh, and War Doctors team up and with the other twelve Doctors move Gallifrey, freezing it outside of time and space in a parallel pocket universe. With Gallifrey out of the way the surrounding Daleks fire on themselves and blow each other up,” Clint finished, catching his breath. 

   “Did anyone follow that?,” Tony asked. 

   “Nope.” 

   “Not at all.”

   “That’s gonna be a no.”

   Clint sighed. 

   “Well, it worked. That’s all that matters,” Steve said. 

   “No, what matters is that my obsession with  _ Doctor Who _ saved the day,” Clint said, grinning. 

   "Hey, did it work? Did we win?,” Bruce asked, waking up. 

   He had been napping for the past half hour. 

   “Yeah, Clint’s plan worked. I’m surprised the Hulk went along with it so easily,” Steve said. 

   “Well, it was the Doctor’s plan from ‘The Day of the Doctor’ right?,” Bruce said. 

   “Yeah it was!,” Clint replied excitedly. 

   Everyone else rolled their eyes collectively. 

   “The Hulk’s a big Doctor Who fan. He recognized what Clint was doing,” Bruce said with a shrug. 

   There was a moment of silence, then everyone spoke up at once. 

   “What?!”

   “The Hulk watches _Doctor Who_?”

   “Seriously?”

   “Since when?!”

   “Yeah, me and the Hulk watched ‘Blink’ together because Bruce got too stressed out and transformed in the middle of the episode,” Clint said with a shrug. 

   Bruce blushed slightly, “Weeping Angels are really freaky.”

   “I know man, no shame,” Clint said, patting Bruce on the back. 

   Everyone else stared at them in stunned silence. 

   “Well, I’m not sure what to say other than we might need to watch  _ Doctor Who _ as a team if this is the way things are going to be,” Steve said with resignation. 

   “I was afraid you were going to say that,” Tony sighed. 

   Clint jumped up excitedly. “No, you’ll love it! Ok, so the Doctor is a time travelling alien from the planet Gallifrey, he has two hearts and can regenerate. So far there’s been thirteen Doctors, plus the War Doctor. The Doctor has a time machine called the TARDIS, which stands for time and relative dimension in space. It’s shaped like a police call box because the chameleon circuit is broken…”

   It was going to be a long plane ride. 

**Author's Note:**

> This took a lot longer to write than I intended, since I've been dealing with some health stuff. 
> 
> When I saw the square "time travel" my immediate thought was Doctor Who. Also, Duolingo actually does have Klingon and High Valyrian as language options. Unfortunately no Gallifreyan (yet). 
> 
> This completes my first Bingo!!!! Woohoo! 
> 
> [Clint Barton Bingo Card](https://motherofbeardeddragons.tumblr.com/post/184673075627/my-first-bingo-for-clint-barton-bingo-2019)
> 
> [I'm on Tumblr!](https://motherofbeardeddragons.tumblr.com/)


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